The rest of the time she is in my bed, on the couch or in her sister’s room bothering her.

Meanwhile I work at a desk shoved into the corner of my bedroom like a Victorian accountant.

I want to move both girls into the bigger room and use the smaller room as an office.

They are acting like I announced they are moving into a shed.

They are eight and ten. The room is big. They have shared hotel rooms without dying.

Am I selfish for wanting one room in this house that does not have stuffed animals in it?

The post Should I Make My Kids Share a Room? appeared first on Mom WTF!.

He mocks him, takes his stuff and does that fake apology thing where he laughs while saying sorry.

My son does not want to hang out with him anymore.

I told my friend there was a problem and she said boys tease each other and mine is sensitive.

Maybe he is sensitive. Maybe her kid is also being a little jerk. Both things can exist.

Now she keeps asking why we are never free.

Do I tell her the full truth and probably damage the friendship, or keep making excuses until the kids are thirty?

The post Do I Say Something About Her Kid? appeared first on Mom WTF!.

There was mascara on a towel, pizza crust under the couch, fake nails in the hallway and somebody used my good face cream like body lotion.

At 2:40 in the morning they were making ramen and laughing like tiny drunk aunts.

I asked them twice to settle down. They did not. One of them said “sorry queen” and kept going, which somehow made me madder.

The next morning their parents picked them up all cheerful and rested while I stood there looking like I had survived a minor hostage situation.

My daughter wants another one next month. I would rather host raccoons.

Can I just say no more sleepovers, or is that too harsh?

The post Can I Ban Sleepovers After This Mess? appeared first on Mom WTF!.

Apparently shirts must face a specific direction, socks should never be paired, and leggings require a method known only to teenagers and boutique employees.

I said that was fine and she could take over her own laundry.

She looked shocked, as though she had filed a minor complaint and accidentally dissolved the entire department.

Now the basket has been sitting in her room for six days. She keeps asking when I am doing laundry.

I told her I was terminated for poor performance.

How long do I hold the line?

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