Before I could even hand it to her she said our porch light shines toward their bedroom, our little wind chime is “very active,” and she heard loud laughing from our patio Friday night.

There were four of us outside until 9:40. Nobody was screaming. My sister does have a laugh that could startle livestock, but still.

I said okay, welcome to the neighborhood, and came home with my own banana bread.

My husband says we can adjust the light and remove the chime to keep peace. I say peace usually starts with hello.

Would you accommodate all of it, some of it, or eat the bread and become a problem?

The post The New Neighbor Introduced Herself With Complaints appeared first on Mom WTF!.

At first I didn’t care. Then they started leaving the side gate open. I have two dogs. One is old and slow, the other one sees freedom and loses all religion.

I asked them nice three times. I asked their mama once. She said kids forget things and I should put a spring on the gate.

Why am I renovating my gate because her children cannot use the road?

I put a lock on it yesterday. Now she says I am being “unneighborly” and making the kids walk an extra six minutes.

They will survive. Probably. But now the whole thing has turned into a block issue and I truly do not have the energy for a fence summit.

The post Their Kids Use My Yard as a Shortcut appeared first on Mom WTF!.

What she meant was pajama pants. Mine, specifically, because she described black plaid pants and a gray hoodie. That is my 7 a.m. mailbox uniform.

Ma’am this is Ohio. It was forty nine degrees and raining sideways. I was retrieving a dental bill, not attending a garden luncheon.

She said people considering buying homes drive through early and first impressions matter.

I replied that anyone scared off by fleece pants probably would not survive the leaf blower situation anyway.

My husband says I should have ignored it. I say she held a public hearing about my thighs.

The post The Cul de Sac Has a Dress Code Now appeared first on Mom WTF!.

The woman across from me keeps picking up my packages and putting them inside her entryway. She texts me after, like, “Your box is safe with me.”

It was already safe. It was at my door. I was home.

Last week I opened my door while she was carrying my Target box away. She said porch theft is bad around here. We are on the third floor behind two locked doors.

I told her please leave my stuff alone. She got offended and said she was only being neighborly.

Now she is giving me the silent treatment, which honestly has been peaceful, but I still feel like I somehow became the rude one.

The post She Keeps Moving My Packages appeared first on Mom WTF!.

My baby finally goes down around one. At 1:07, his mower starts. Not just mowing either. Edging, blowing, trimming one bush for twenty minutes like he is filming a landscaping documentary.

We are in a little subdivision outside Fort Worth. The yards are not estates. You could mow his whole property during one commercial break.

I mentioned the nap schedule once and he said daytime is when yard work happens. Fair. I know the world does not stop because I had a baby.

But yesterday he mowed a strip he already mowed two days ago. One strip. Right beside our fence.

Am I sleep deprived and paranoid, or is this man beefing with an eight month old?

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