I have hosted Thanksgiving six years in a row.
People show up late, bring one bag of rolls and then sit down like they have completed a task.
I cook for two days. I clean before. I clean after. Somebody always leaves a wet paper plate on a bookshelf.
Last year my brother took leftovers before I even ate dessert.
This year I said I am not hosting and suddenly the family group chat is full of concern about tradition.
Funny how tradition always happens in my kitchen.
Am I allowed to quit, or do I have to fake a plumbing problem?
I stopped hosting and suddenly all the experts had nowhere to go.
I would invite her once more with clear expectations, then be done if she pulls the same mess.
My family called me selfish until they had to price a turkey and clean a bathroom.
They only care about tradition when somebody else is cooking it.
You are not required to keep setting the table for disrespect.
Tradition is often just one woman doing unpaid labor while everybody else critiques the gravy.
People who ruin every event are always shocked when the invitation dries up.
No invite. Protect the peace and let the group chat survive without one dramatic evening.
If everybody has to brace before she arrives, that is your answer.