My sister is pregnant and she finally told us the baby name.
I am not putting it here because honestly it is so specific she would know this was me. But imagine a prescription drug mixed with a medieval horse.
Everybody at dinner did that fake smile. You know the one. Mouth says cute, eyes say dear God.
Then she asked me directly what I thought and I panicked and said it was “really unique.” Which is family code for what the hell are you doing.
Now she keeps sending me nursery stuff with the name on it, so clearly this train has left the station and has custom wall letters.
Do I tell her before the kid has to spend 80 years spelling it, or mind my damn business?
If she ruins every event, she already answered the invitation question.
There is no medal for attending every family function while miserable.
You can love people and still not want them in your house for eight hours.
I come from a big family. We survive by lying about prior commitments.
No invitation is worth spending the entire night bracing for impact.
Say it once, gently. After that, let the custom wall letters happen.
A reunion in July is already disrespectful before anybody says a word.
Some relatives are best enjoyed in small doses with an exit nearby.
I would wear my own pajamas and smile in every photo out of spite.
If the name sounds like medication, I need one cousin to say so.