My Dog Has a Better Bedtime Routine
July 18, 2026
He gets a walk, a snack, fresh bedding, and emotional closure. I get dishes.
He gets a walk, a snack, fresh bedding, and emotional closure. I get dishes.
No hello. Just a list involving our porch light, wind chimes, and apparently loud laughing.
The cans were three inches outside the approved imaginary line.
I have six apps for sending twelve dollars to people I can physically see.
She said I fold everything wrong. I accepted my termination immediately.
There were four cupcakes and four people. Then I remembered I am also a person.
Nobody needs thirty seven messages about potato salad before I have had coffee.
They cut through daily, leave the gate open, and act like I installed a public walkway.
She lives here technically, but I have seen more evidence of raccoons.
I throw a party. Three weeks later, she throws the same party with better cupcakes.